Permissive parenting make temporarily look like it is working for you, but there are many long-term negative consequences for both you and your children.
You are being a permissive parent when you are
compliant, indulgent, or indifferent with your children. When you are
being compliant, you are giving yourself up and going along with what
your children want to avoid their upset with you. When you are being
indulgent, you are giving in to your children, even when you know it is
not good for them - again to avoid their upset. When you are being
indifferent, you have withdrawn from being an involved parent and from
being affected or concerned by your children's behavior. Possible
Negative Consequences to your Child of Being a Permissive ParentWhile
giving in to your child may make you feel safe from conflict in the
moment, there are many short and long term negative consequences to
being a permissive parent.What are the negative consequences with your
child?
* My child is demanding and disrespectful.
* My child has no regard for others wants and needs.
* My child sometimes acts like a selfish, self-centered brat.
* My child expects others to take responsibility for him or her.
* No matter how much I give my child, he or she is never happy. It never
seems to be enough.
* Even though I am constantly giving to my child, my child is often
angry with me.
* My child has no sense of self-discipline.
* My child lacks self-direction.
* My child is overly needy.
* My child is angry
* My child is depressed.
* My child expresses that he or she feels unloved.
* Even though I think I give my child everything, he or she seems to
lack self-esteem.
* My child does not care about his or her health and safety. My child:
SmokesDrinks alcoholSmokes potUses drugsEats junkRides a motorcycle
without a helmetDrinks or uses drugs and drivesDrives recklesslyHas
unprotected sexWalks in dangerous areasPossible Negative Consequences to
you of Being a Permissive ParentWhat seems easier for you in the short
run may not work at all for you in the long run. What are some of the
consequences to you?
* I feel trapped and used.
* I feel resentful.
* My child is often angry at me.
* My child often shuts me out.
* Parenting is not fun. It feels like a burden.
* I feel resentful toward my child.
* I feel tense, anxious, angry or frustrated.
* I feel like a failure as a parent.
* My child and I do not have fun together.
Parenting is supposed to be a fun and fulfilling experience, which is
will be when you learn to be loving with both yourself and your
children. Permissive parenting has created a generation of entitlement
children. These are the young adults who think they do not have to work
hard to get where they want to go. Because their parents did not follow
through with consequences for unacceptable behavior, these people think
they can get away with mediocre effort, and are angry and demanding when
they don't get their way.Permissive parenting often creates
self-centered and irresponsible children and adults.What To Do?
Permissive parents are often more concerned with how their children feel
about them than with taking a loving care of themselves. You will
continue to be compliant and indulgent with your children as long as
trying to control how they feel about you is more important to you than
taking responsibility for your own wellbeing.When you decide to take
responsibility for yourself - for your happiness and inner peace - you
will learn how to set appropriate limits with your children. When your
wellbeing is important to you, you will no longer allow your children to
treat you with disrespect. If you want to move beyond permissive
parentingBusiness Management Articles, it will be helpful to read
parenting books and take parenting classes to learn how to be loving to
yourself and to your children.
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