I recently found a good article about focusing on your positive
aspects when fighting for your child's custody. The article is
written like a Q and A and here's an excerpt:
Q: My custody evaluation is coming up soon,
and I am trying to prepare for the meeting with the evaluator.
After 20 years of marriage, I realize I was emotionally, verbally
and sexually abused and regularly threatened with divorce. I can
easily get caught up in the injustice of my ex's lying and
character assassination.
How do I respond to his lies? Do I rely on providing a list of
people who have been close to our situation to give their opinions
of us as parents? How do I bring up the domestic violence
conviction or the fact that his case is being reviewed for
probation violation? I feel my ex has emotional problems that he
should deal with because they affect his ability to be a good
parent. What advice do you have?
A: Make a list of points why you believe you
should have primary physical custody. Emphasize your strengths,
rather than your ex's shortcomings. Describe your stable home
environment, your daily routine, methods of child care, your
involvement with the children's school and your support system of
family and friends.
This information tells the evaluator how effectively you have
established a healthy and stable lifestyle. Practice describing
your family life to one of your friends. The more familiar you are
with the information you want to convey, the more confident you
will feel in your interview.
Don't allow your ex's accusations to upset you. Correct any
significant errors when the opportunity arises. If the evaluator
is not aware of your husband's conviction and probation violation,
offer this information calmly, giving dates and details.
Your comfortable presentation of your lifestyle is much more
effective than reports from friends or family members. Both
parties in a divorce can find people to defend them. The evaluator
will judge you on your personal presentation and description of
family life.
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Most judges allow the non- custodial parent to have normal
visitation, unless there is clear evidence that a parent has
emotional problems that could damage the children. Children
benefit from maintaining a relationship with both parents.
The judge will determine custody regulations from the facts in
the case, not from perceptions of your ex from you or your
friends. Judges also look very carefully at either parent's
attempt to withhold the children from the other parent.
Read it here.