Parenting with Style
Stephenie Freeman

 I must have been absent on the day they taught the class, “Choosing a Parenting Style Best for You.”   I was too busy studying up on, “Fooling your Picky Eater” and “Time Out 101.”  Somehow along the way I have missed out on learning how to raise well behaved children without driving yourself insane.  I have jumped around so much in my parenting styles and techniques that I am starting to feel a little bi-polar.  

 During my early parenting years, I decided that I was not going to marry myself to any one approach to parenting.  I talked the big talk, telling other mamas that I would do whatever was best for me and my child.  After almost five long years of being a parent, I now know that my declaration was all just a bunch of crap.      

 Truth be told, I am a semi-traditional, willing to try new things, moment to moment kind of parent.  As much as I try to be more new age, hip, and current, I just keeping slipping back into parenting habits that I can only describe as genetic. 

 Basically, I parent the way my parents did.  I can remember once after getting into trouble my dad telling me that if I acted that way again, all of my toys would be gone.  Somewhere in the back of my young mind, I probably knew that it was an empty threat.  I also knew better than to press my luck.  I tried that same tactic once with my son.  I must not have had enough danger in my voice because all he did was look at me curiously and say, “But then you would have to buy me more.”    

 I have always been willing to try new things.  Once I decided that teaching my baby sign language was the way to go.  That lasted about one day after I realized how much work would be involved on my part.  For a while I decided to buy only organic food, knowing that the benefits would far outweigh the cost, but I keep finding myself relying mostly on frozen pizzas and processed luncheon meats to get us through meal time.  I even religiously participated in several Mommy and Me classes with my first born, but my second hasn’t participated with me in anything more than pulling out all of my underwear out of the drawer while I am in the shower.

 Perfect parent I am not, and like everyone else out there I do what I can, when I can.  I mess up and make mistakes, but still expect the best from my children even though it often leads to disappointment.  Once when my oldest was told to go and clean his room, he rolled his eyes and replied, “If you say so woman!”  I am not sure where he learned that one, but I am pretty sure it was not from me.  If it were, he would be saying something more along the lines of, “You people are giving me a headache!” 

 I was never the cool kid, so it stands to reason that I am never going to be the cool parent.  I am the parent that makes her kids drink their milk.  I teach them phrases like, “Yes, Sir” and “Thank you for having me.”  They are told to sit still, be quiet, not pick their nose, say their sorry, use their manners, and do their best.  I am often at a loss when they throw a fit in a public place and someone is usually in Time Out at least once a day.  Imagine Clair Huxtable and Ward Cleaver trying to raise Bart Simpson and Dennis the Menace.  You get the idea.     

 Even with parental guilt and the occasional motherhood meltdown, I continue to parent with confidence that my kids are going to turn out okay.  New Age, Old Fashioned, Modern, or Traditional, I carry around a little of each of these styles, and even though it might not be perfect, it is what works for me.    

 

 

Previous Posts:
Driving With Pride
It's a Boy Thing
Definition of a Modern Mother
My Friend At Target
Reruns & Action Figures
Pajama Time
Organizational Issues
Summer Freedoms
Excitement About the Small Things
The Lies We Parents Tell
Birthdays to Remember
Can You Hang Tinsel On A Recycling Bin?
Time Out For Dummies
I'm A June Clever Wannabe

To read more from Stephenie, visit her site!

Mama Wants More
A column for today's mother who has it all and still wants more because you're a mother, a wife, a citizen, a consumer. You're unappreciated, underpaid, and over qualified for wiping bottoms & cleaning toilets. But this was your dream. This is what you always wanted. you love your life, but you still want more . Me too.