Stephenie Freeman
I’m not sure that it is possible to effectively discipline a one-year old. My pediatrician recently asked me at a well-baby check if my youngest had started throwing fits yet. I informed him that he had yet to master that skill, but seemed to be a fast learner. His older brother had taught him to run around screaming, throw balls in the house, and dump cups of water onto the bathroom floor, so I was pretty sure that tantrums were soon to follow.
Our doctor then told me that I should place my little toddler in
Time-Out when I saw the first signs of true defiance. There must have
been a neon green sign on my forehead flashing, “Whatever” because he
promptly asked me what discipline techniques I had used up to this
point. I was proud to tell him that for the first fifteen months of my
child’s life there had been little need to discipline and that it wasn’t
until lately that I had to start telling him, “No.” A few times I had to
spank his hand if he’s reaching for something dangerous, but that was
more a gut reaction than a discipline technique.
Every mother can agree that there’s nothing wrong with telling your
child to sit in Time-Out and “Think about what you just did!” I just
couldn’t imagine that practice being successful with a one-year old. I
struggled getting him to sit still in the grocery cart, forget about the
Naughty Mat. Besides, wasn’t he just exploring the world around him?
Didn’t I need to encourage and protect his curiosity? All the doctor
could do was smile and tell me to wait for that first fit and try it.
My older son knows exactly what it means to head to our Time-Out chair.
He knows it mean no toys, no T.V. and to top it off, he has to sit still
for a period of time which to him must feel like forever. Just like the
Super Nanny has taught me, after a few minutes I give him a rational
explanation, he gives me a hug, and all is forgiven. It really is a
straight forward and fairly easy discipline technique that any idiot
could master, but my one year old only has a four word vocabulary. I
might as well be speaking in Spanish when telling him to sit in Time-Out
until he can make better choices.
There are times in motherhood when you’re children push you right up to
the edge of the insanity cliff where you know you have to make a choice.
One, you can jump and escape the madness leaving the children to fend
for themselves, or two, you can turn around and fight back and
discipline them. As my screaming toddler lay on the floor in protest to
my not allowing him to play with my cell phone, I remembered the
doctor’s words and thought, “Why not?”
Placing him on the bottom step of our staircase, I told him why his was
there and quickly stepped around the corner anticipating his quick
escape. Thirty seconds passed as I peeked around the corner. He was
still screaming but he was actually staying put. That little turkey sat
there for a whole minute and slowly the screaming turned into quiet
hiccups and soon little voice whispered, “Mama?”
Doing my best not to smile, I rounded the corner and told him no matter
how much I loved him and how he couldn’t afford to buy Mommy a new cell
phone. His stubby arms reached over his head, his small hands opening
and closing, which any mother knows is the universal sign for, “I want
my Mommy!” I knew that he didn’t understand a word I had just said, but
I sure did feel better. Maybe there’s a lesson in that. Maybe I’ll just
start putting myself in Time-Out from now on.
Previous Posts:
Excitement About
the Small Things
The Lies We
Parents Tell
Birthdays to
Remember
Can You Hang
Tinsel On A Recycling Bin?
To read more from Stephenie, visit her site!
Mama Wants More
A column for today's mother who has it all and still wants more
because you're a mother, a wife, a citizen, a consumer. You're
unappreciated, underpaid, and over qualified for wiping bottoms &
cleaning toilets. But this was your dream. This is what you always
wanted. you love your life, but you still want more . Me too.
